NEW PAINTING FROM BALLOON SERIES

I was going through some of my paintings yesterday and came across this little painting that I had done awhile ago that goes along with my Balloon Series Paintings.  I over looked it and totally lost track of it since it is a small painting.
It was created with the series of paintings that I just posted about called 'HOW FRAGILE WE ARE' and I wanted to include it with the series
This painting is titled, 'IN THE WINK OF AN EYE' 11x14  2010 oil on canvas.

'IN THE WINK OF AN EYE'                  11x14                oil on canvas            2010

HOW FRAGILE WE ARE

A couple of years ago I took a brief dabbling in my painting and began painting characters that look like balloons.  

It all started when I painted a diptychs for my brother as a Christmas gift.  He was my secret Santa and I wanted to do something cool for his house.  He had virtually no art in his beautiful home so I thought a painting would be an awesome idea.  I had no idea as to what I was going to take on right before Christmas.

It is titled 'Air on the side of caution' and each canvas is 24x30.  It took some time to paint, but I really got in the groove and finished them on time.  It began my interest in the balloon as a metaphor for the human brain and personality.

'AIR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION'      2009   24x30 panels     oil on canvas

I don't know precisely what caught my attention to create these balloon character faces except that I am generally interested in the face as a theme and use it in a lot of my paintings.  I am also interested in our human psychology as a theme.  The idea that these balloon characters can be extinguished with just a nick by the birds beak, speaks to me because I feel that that is how one can feel when they move in the world.  Vulnerability is the key word I think of to describe these balloon character paintings.  I think of how fragile our psychological life can be and how we can feel so unimportant at times.  I also think of strength and courage when I look at these paintings.  Courage to put yourself out there not knowing what will come back to you.  Strength to pick yourself up after an emotional event and move forward.  The faces are just floating in the air and moving through their life even though there is tragedy.  One balloon has been loosing it's air it's life and a lot of balloons look at it in concern and fear, while others are not nearly so affected.  Some characters like the one in the left panel in the bottom left corner is closing his eyes and doesn't even want to know what is going on.

                'BLISS'                11x14               2010      oil on canvas                                         

This painting above titled 'BLISS" 11x14 oil on canvas is one of my very favorites.  I think it is because I love the way the face looks so relaxed and truly experiencing 'bliss'.  I love the way the colors blend together and support the red face.  It is not actually a balloon face however it is the beginning of my balloon series.

               'HOPES DEFLATED'         16x20                 2010       oil on canvas                                   

Above in this second painting, 'Hopes Deflated' 16x20.  Two birds swoop in to bite onto the yellow balloon character and deflates it while standing on the face of the green character.  This reflects the fragile nature of our psychological persona.

             'WHAT'S SO FUNNY?'                   16x20                      2010      oil on canvas             

 In this third painting above, 'What's so funny?' 16x20, each character in the painting is laughing and filled with fun.  The blue character is clearly the 'jokester' while the yellow woman character is very amused and smitten with the joke as the orange woman looks on.  This painting reflects the different sides of ourselves and how we can change our persona from one moment to the next.

      'RISING ABOVE'          16x20        2010       oil on canvas                             

In this fourth painting, 'Rising above' 16x20 , you can see different emotions as the orange balloon is relaxing and looks like he is meditating and not effected by the others.  The blue character looks on wondering and the green guy in the background looks like he wants to make his own appearance as a unique and different personality from the others.  The three birds fly around these characters clearly familiar with these three guys. The guys do not feel any fear even though at any minute the birds can nick them and they will deflate and their lives will be lost

              'GRIEF'                    11x14              2010   oil on canvas

In this painting above titled 'GRIEF' 11x14,  I really experience the feeling of grief when I look at the face of this balloon that is floating in the air.  Since I have been going through a lot of grief lately with the loss of my Mom and my Gram 16 months apart, I really relate to the way the balloon is holding his head and closing his eyes and staring down. This balloon character is surely feeling down and filled with sorrow.

I hope you enjoyed viewing this group of paintings.  Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what's on your mind.

WHERE I'VE BEEN

'HEAVY HEART'    24x30       2012    oil on canvas

I have not posted on this blog for some time now.  I would like to share where I have been and why I have been there.   I have not been writing mainly because I have been in a process of grieving the loss of my precious Mom who passed away last May 6 th. I have been heart broken and filled with sorrow about her passing.  You can read more about her here on her blog.  From the pain and the sorrow it has been very hard to write and organize my thoughts and emotions.  I have been a bit 'stuck' and I have struggled with a blank palette in my mind.  I never realized how much a loss would effect my ability to write and be creative at it, as well.  Although I have been painting this entire year, I never realized how much it would effect my ability to write effectively.  Over this year, I would sit down in front of my computer, open my blog and completely draw a 'blank' inside.  I did not know where to begin.  Ideas were few and hard to come by.  Anxiety started to creep in and the emptiness in my mind became a a real obstacle to writing creatively.  The longer I failed to blog, the harder it became to write.  This cycle went round and round for almost a year.  Can you believe it has been a year?  Well, as time went by, I began to ask myself questions about "how do I begin again to offer inspiration and ideas to anyone when I have not been able to write and express myself and because I have been away from blogging for so long?"   The angst grew more profound for sometime until I finally had a moment of clarity and insight into my own creative thought process.

'SAD, SAD GIRL'      16x20     2011      oil on canvas

 For the past year, even though I was unable to write, I have been painting a lot.  I don't know for certainty why this had been this way, however I do have some ideas about it as I am trying to find the answers as to why writing is so much more of a struggle.  This is what I learned. As I mentioned, I have been painting furiously over this last year however, when it came to expressing my thoughts in writing, it was more difficult, more raw, more open. I guess that through the written word, somehow the reality of my loss seemed to be more real, more true. In art visually, sometimes I find I can hide behind the work, with a 'simple disguise' of sorts but with writing it is just out there.  When I write it is real and coming from the unconscious and unconscious at the same time.  If I were to want to express the pain I am feeling, and I were to write , "I am in pain", that becomes a fact for me just by the act of writing it.  Visually however, allows for that same feeling to be disguised like a woven tapestry with images, shapes and colors and even though it is meant to express the same emotion as something I have written. Visually, it is left to interpretation but in writing, for me, 'it is what it is'.   This is my idea about why for me, writing is so much more difficult and challenging.

'GRIEF AND A BIRD'    18x24       2011      oil on canvas

I've mentioned that I did do a lot of painting, I was able to work in a friend's studio in Philadelphia over the summer and even though I was bouncing around a lot with my ideas, I did manage to produce some interesting new work. Visually I was still able to work creatively.  Although I was thoroughly into my painting, and I was not blogging, I had no idea what the end of the summer would bring in my life and how it would effect my ability to write even more then it previously had. 

Sadly, at the end of the summer, my beloved Gram, ('little Gram' as family all knew her), and the woman who raised me and my siblings, passed away on August 27th.  This loss has hit me so hard and fast and again I was finding myself so paralyzed and unable to make sense out of anything for these past 4 months.  (You can read more about my Gram here , here and here. )  Although I have suffered these losses, what I have come to realize is that I can try to use writing to heal the heart just as I use painting to soothe my soul.  I know I need to get back to writing and share my story, so it is not so raw, so painful.   I am learning that I can use my writing as a way of healing and not shut down from my experiences.  I have come to understand that I need to share this part of my life and at the same time offer my art and inspiration outward.  The two creative processes can coexist. I am struggling but I'm pulling through.  I have also come to realize that I was sheltering myself and hiding away while trying to get some soothing from the two major losses that has happened so close together.  I have been trying to make sense out of nonsense and this can be a never ending challenge and struggle.

'REACHING,  GRASPING,  HOPING'         2012           24x30   oil on canvas

I am ready to begin again along with my losses, sorrows and heart brake to share my experiences on this blog if the moment or time calls for it.  This way I am not boxed in to just write about my work but to share how I am doing along with my work and creative inspiration. I hope I can write about what and how my heart asks me to. 

Thanks to everyone who has come to my blog waiting for a new post. Thanks for giving me this time to finding healing and find my footing. Thanks for reading because this is my story. This is where I've been.