NEW 'ON MY EASEL' PAINTING FEATURED

Hey guys...it's time for a 'on my easel' painting to be featured on my blog.  This is where I share with you the how's and why's of how I paint my paintings.

This posts painting is titled,  'The bombs bursting in air 9 11'.  This painting is 24x30 and oil on canvas.

The Bombs bursting in air  9 11    2013        oil on canvas   24x30       (c) Loren Fidalgo

When I first began this painting, it was totally abstract and there were no recognizeable images.  As I was making the curve on the left side and making the circle below it, I began to see a face on the canvas looking back at me through the palette knife marks I had made..   I decided to try to reveal what was beneath the marks and realized the face looked like myself.  It was becoming a self portrait of sorts and I knew I felt that I needed to follow the image and see where it led me.  After I unearthed the portrait, I began to see that the image was weeping with blood red tears below her left eye.  I stroked the paint down from the face with a palette knife and the tears just poured out of it's eyes.  I was not sure what was happening with the painting. I also started to recognize long painted strokes that seemed to be shooting out of the forehead of the face that resembled The Statue of Liberty which was weeping with tears pouring out from her eyes.  Then out of somewhere in my consciousness, I recognized the tall building in the background where I had stenciled some square patterned shapes on the surface, It looked as if there were fire and smoke coming out of the stenciled windows. I knew that was not an abstract painting any longer. The painting began to open itself up to me as The Statue of Liberty weeping as the towers burned and then ultimately fell to the ground.  You can say that this was not a 'happy' painting.
I was also stunned at what I had created on the canvas.  It was not planned nor was it intentional.  It just flowed out of my hand and brush and onto the canvas without consciously thinking about it.  If you might ask," how did I really create this experience in this painting"?  I can only tell you, "I do not know" What I do know is that something was channeling through me about the horror and sadness of that day 9 11 and it appeared on my painting. I was just the vechile and I had to paint it on the canvas.

Thanks for reading this post.  Please feel free to leave comments or messages.  It's greatly appreciated. 
If you are interested in a print of this painting, please contact me through the message box on the left side bar of this blog.  If for some reason you can not leave a message, you can leave one at my etsy shop www.lorenfidalgoart.etsy.com.
Cheers,
Loren

SAYING 'GOOD-BYE' TO UTRECHT

Last Tuesday night,  I was leaving my painting class at Fleisher Art Memorial and drove onto Spruce Street to make my way home.  As I approached the light at Broad Street and Spruce Street, I slowly glanced over to my left as I always did at that stop. Now it is where I see that Utrecht Art Supplies Store is dark and closed for the good. All the signs are still up around the building though, which gives it an erie ghost like feeling. 

About 4-5 months ago, I learned that Utrecht would be merged into Dick Blick art supply store and the Utrecht I knew would be no more.  You see, Utrecht was not just a art supply store to me, it was a hip, chic, cool, trendy place where artists from all over Philadelphia purchased their art supplies.  Their employees were art students and it had this feel of 'pure art'.  They featured a cork board where artists could post their info, business cards etc.  It was a place to mingle.  Utrecht was the 'it' place to shop in the art world in Philly. Their prices were awesome and they always had what you needed. A lot of their supplies were behind the counter where students artists would assist you with your chosen materials.

Utrecht was not just a art supply store to me but a place where memories were formed and made, a place where my personality was defined and a talent was realized. 

When I first moved to Philly to attend Moore College of Art and Design, Utrecht was the place to go for most art supplies.  I remember when I walked the first time from my dorm room on Cherry Street to Utrecht at 14th and Broad Street with my friend Linda.   It was 17 blocks, seemed so far but well worth the trip.  I realized I was being introduced to a city for the first time in my life.  Utrecht seemed so 'cool' to me back then.  I had never been in an art supply store like it.  Illustration board, Letraset press type, Chartpak press type were the top supplies that I purchased at Utrecht.  Airbrush machine and supplies were 'hot' and drafting tables were 'in'. If you remember that computers had not arrived in to colleges in 1983 and everything was done by hand, from rub down type to colored rub down film that came in such an array of colors that amazed me.  These were the days of Pantone markers for marker renderings to matching colored papers and film were the top materials that we used in school.  Illustration board was the top material to create designs, logos and advertisements to prepare artwork for printing presses.  When I went there I felt like I was in artists heaven!

I loved Utrecht. I loved the materials they carried , the ambience of the store as well as the people that shopped there.  I loved Utrecht for carrying the fabric paint called DEKA (now out of business) when I started painting T-shirts, baby clothes and pillows.  After college, I moved to 17th Street and Spruce and Utrecht was just a couple blocks from my apartment.  I remember the days of carrying home large sheets of illustration board and matte board inside large clear plastic bags.  Some time after I moved to my apartment, Utrecht moved across the street and on the other side of Spruce Street.  I didn't like it as much as the first location, but tried to adjust with the times.  Utrecht always had the paint I used in acrylic and oil.  They had canvases that I really loved.  They’re canvases were weighty and had a strong cross bars in the back for extra support.  The texture of the canvas was great to paint on and after I first began painting, I ordered 10 canvases 30x40 and had them shipped to my home.  The total cost was approx. $180.00 for the 10.  Can you beleive it?  That was $18.00  for one 30x40.  I still have two remaining and I will save them for a special project.

Utrecht is where I found most of my 'bags of tricks' on my blog.  It is where my early college years had formed strung memories of friendship. It is where I learned about walking the city for the first time and where I felt like and learned to live and feel like an artist.  Now Utrecht has formed some sort of partnership with Dick Blick and they have finally left their home on Broad Street and Spruce Street.  Dick Blick is located on 13th and Chestnut Street approx. 4 blocks from Utrecht's former location.  They said that they will still carry Utrechts paint but not their canvases.  I have never used a Dick Blick canvas and I hope they are as good as Utrecht’s.

Utrecht has moved on to a new venture and I will miss it.  I will never forget the memories it created for me.  I will never forget the way it gave me an introduction into the art scene in Philadelphia. and helped me become a professional artist..  Utrecht, like Borders Book Store will be thought of as a happy, welcoming and teaching experience for me.  So, Utrecht I say my goodbyes to you.  Thank you for all the memories and for opening the world to help me live and become an artist. 

Cheers.

Loren

NEW PAINTING FROM BALLOON SERIES

I was going through some of my paintings yesterday and came across this little painting that I had done awhile ago that goes along with my Balloon Series Paintings.  I over looked it and totally lost track of it since it is a small painting.
It was created with the series of paintings that I just posted about called 'HOW FRAGILE WE ARE' and I wanted to include it with the series
This painting is titled, 'IN THE WINK OF AN EYE' 11x14  2010 oil on canvas.

'IN THE WINK OF AN EYE'                  11x14                oil on canvas            2010

HOW FRAGILE WE ARE

A couple of years ago I took a brief dabbling in my painting and began painting characters that look like balloons.  

It all started when I painted a diptychs for my brother as a Christmas gift.  He was my secret Santa and I wanted to do something cool for his house.  He had virtually no art in his beautiful home so I thought a painting would be an awesome idea.  I had no idea as to what I was going to take on right before Christmas.

It is titled 'Air on the side of caution' and each canvas is 24x30.  It took some time to paint, but I really got in the groove and finished them on time.  It began my interest in the balloon as a metaphor for the human brain and personality.

'AIR ON THE SIDE OF CAUTION'      2009   24x30 panels     oil on canvas

I don't know precisely what caught my attention to create these balloon character faces except that I am generally interested in the face as a theme and use it in a lot of my paintings.  I am also interested in our human psychology as a theme.  The idea that these balloon characters can be extinguished with just a nick by the birds beak, speaks to me because I feel that that is how one can feel when they move in the world.  Vulnerability is the key word I think of to describe these balloon character paintings.  I think of how fragile our psychological life can be and how we can feel so unimportant at times.  I also think of strength and courage when I look at these paintings.  Courage to put yourself out there not knowing what will come back to you.  Strength to pick yourself up after an emotional event and move forward.  The faces are just floating in the air and moving through their life even though there is tragedy.  One balloon has been loosing it's air it's life and a lot of balloons look at it in concern and fear, while others are not nearly so affected.  Some characters like the one in the left panel in the bottom left corner is closing his eyes and doesn't even want to know what is going on.

                'BLISS'                11x14               2010      oil on canvas                                         

This painting above titled 'BLISS" 11x14 oil on canvas is one of my very favorites.  I think it is because I love the way the face looks so relaxed and truly experiencing 'bliss'.  I love the way the colors blend together and support the red face.  It is not actually a balloon face however it is the beginning of my balloon series.

               'HOPES DEFLATED'         16x20                 2010       oil on canvas                                   

Above in this second painting, 'Hopes Deflated' 16x20.  Two birds swoop in to bite onto the yellow balloon character and deflates it while standing on the face of the green character.  This reflects the fragile nature of our psychological persona.

             'WHAT'S SO FUNNY?'                   16x20                      2010      oil on canvas             

 In this third painting above, 'What's so funny?' 16x20, each character in the painting is laughing and filled with fun.  The blue character is clearly the 'jokester' while the yellow woman character is very amused and smitten with the joke as the orange woman looks on.  This painting reflects the different sides of ourselves and how we can change our persona from one moment to the next.

      'RISING ABOVE'          16x20        2010       oil on canvas                             

In this fourth painting, 'Rising above' 16x20 , you can see different emotions as the orange balloon is relaxing and looks like he is meditating and not effected by the others.  The blue character looks on wondering and the green guy in the background looks like he wants to make his own appearance as a unique and different personality from the others.  The three birds fly around these characters clearly familiar with these three guys. The guys do not feel any fear even though at any minute the birds can nick them and they will deflate and their lives will be lost

              'GRIEF'                    11x14              2010   oil on canvas

In this painting above titled 'GRIEF' 11x14,  I really experience the feeling of grief when I look at the face of this balloon that is floating in the air.  Since I have been going through a lot of grief lately with the loss of my Mom and my Gram 16 months apart, I really relate to the way the balloon is holding his head and closing his eyes and staring down. This balloon character is surely feeling down and filled with sorrow.

I hope you enjoyed viewing this group of paintings.  Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what's on your mind.

WHERE I'VE BEEN

'HEAVY HEART'    24x30       2012    oil on canvas

I have not posted on this blog for some time now.  I would like to share where I have been and why I have been there.   I have not been writing mainly because I have been in a process of grieving the loss of my precious Mom who passed away last May 6 th. I have been heart broken and filled with sorrow about her passing.  You can read more about her here on her blog.  From the pain and the sorrow it has been very hard to write and organize my thoughts and emotions.  I have been a bit 'stuck' and I have struggled with a blank palette in my mind.  I never realized how much a loss would effect my ability to write and be creative at it, as well.  Although I have been painting this entire year, I never realized how much it would effect my ability to write effectively.  Over this year, I would sit down in front of my computer, open my blog and completely draw a 'blank' inside.  I did not know where to begin.  Ideas were few and hard to come by.  Anxiety started to creep in and the emptiness in my mind became a a real obstacle to writing creatively.  The longer I failed to blog, the harder it became to write.  This cycle went round and round for almost a year.  Can you believe it has been a year?  Well, as time went by, I began to ask myself questions about "how do I begin again to offer inspiration and ideas to anyone when I have not been able to write and express myself and because I have been away from blogging for so long?"   The angst grew more profound for sometime until I finally had a moment of clarity and insight into my own creative thought process.

'SAD, SAD GIRL'      16x20     2011      oil on canvas

 For the past year, even though I was unable to write, I have been painting a lot.  I don't know for certainty why this had been this way, however I do have some ideas about it as I am trying to find the answers as to why writing is so much more of a struggle.  This is what I learned. As I mentioned, I have been painting furiously over this last year however, when it came to expressing my thoughts in writing, it was more difficult, more raw, more open. I guess that through the written word, somehow the reality of my loss seemed to be more real, more true. In art visually, sometimes I find I can hide behind the work, with a 'simple disguise' of sorts but with writing it is just out there.  When I write it is real and coming from the unconscious and unconscious at the same time.  If I were to want to express the pain I am feeling, and I were to write , "I am in pain", that becomes a fact for me just by the act of writing it.  Visually however, allows for that same feeling to be disguised like a woven tapestry with images, shapes and colors and even though it is meant to express the same emotion as something I have written. Visually, it is left to interpretation but in writing, for me, 'it is what it is'.   This is my idea about why for me, writing is so much more difficult and challenging.

'GRIEF AND A BIRD'    18x24       2011      oil on canvas

I've mentioned that I did do a lot of painting, I was able to work in a friend's studio in Philadelphia over the summer and even though I was bouncing around a lot with my ideas, I did manage to produce some interesting new work. Visually I was still able to work creatively.  Although I was thoroughly into my painting, and I was not blogging, I had no idea what the end of the summer would bring in my life and how it would effect my ability to write even more then it previously had. 

Sadly, at the end of the summer, my beloved Gram, ('little Gram' as family all knew her), and the woman who raised me and my siblings, passed away on August 27th.  This loss has hit me so hard and fast and again I was finding myself so paralyzed and unable to make sense out of anything for these past 4 months.  (You can read more about my Gram here , here and here. )  Although I have suffered these losses, what I have come to realize is that I can try to use writing to heal the heart just as I use painting to soothe my soul.  I know I need to get back to writing and share my story, so it is not so raw, so painful.   I am learning that I can use my writing as a way of healing and not shut down from my experiences.  I have come to understand that I need to share this part of my life and at the same time offer my art and inspiration outward.  The two creative processes can coexist. I am struggling but I'm pulling through.  I have also come to realize that I was sheltering myself and hiding away while trying to get some soothing from the two major losses that has happened so close together.  I have been trying to make sense out of nonsense and this can be a never ending challenge and struggle.

'REACHING,  GRASPING,  HOPING'         2012           24x30   oil on canvas

I am ready to begin again along with my losses, sorrows and heart brake to share my experiences on this blog if the moment or time calls for it.  This way I am not boxed in to just write about my work but to share how I am doing along with my work and creative inspiration. I hope I can write about what and how my heart asks me to. 

Thanks to everyone who has come to my blog waiting for a new post. Thanks for giving me this time to finding healing and find my footing. Thanks for reading because this is my story. This is where I've been.  

A NEW TO YOU YET SOMEWHAT OLDER PAINTING

THE BEAT OF THE HEART
OIL ON CANVAS  30x40
(c) Loren Fidalgo 2010

 I wanted to touch base with everyone and share a new yet old painting.  This painting is called "THE BEAT OF THE HEART". Initially, I wanted to title it, "THE WATCHER", however, I decided that the new title expresses more of my feelings about this painting.  What do you think?  

This painting is painted with oil on stretched canvas.  The size is 30 x 40 and one of my favorite sizes to paint on.

I feature birds in a lot of my fantasy paintings.  I love the free flowing form of them in flight and I especially love their wings.  I love painting their wings.  I also love the idea of the birds being able to move so easily from place to place.  Ahhh... what I would do if I could only fly!

Currently, the most significant thing is how the expression of the birds made their way into some of the final words I had with my Mom before she passed away in May 2011.  When my Mom could no longer speak, I told her to, "fly high and like a bird when you are ready Mom.  Just fly."  Now whenever I see a bird, I think of her and feel that maybe she is around me.  Soon, I will be starting a new blog about my my Mom and my relationship with her.  It will be titled, MY MOM MATTERS and it will feature all the memories, stories and poignant things that have entered my life since I found my Mom.  It will surely be chockfull of so many experiences, some joyful, some profound and some very emotional and sad. So, keep checking back for a post about the opening of this new blog.