MY HEAD INJURY AND MYSTERIOUS OBSESSION WITH PAINTING

As I have been wanting to do, I would like to share some more info with you about the head injury I had some 3 years ago. In a nutshell, I had a huge, at least 7-10  lb. ceramic vase/vessel fall on the top of my head or "clunked" me on the head, while I was loading some pottery on a wobbly shelf.   If you are interested to learn more about how it happened, check out the post in my blog MIND GIGGLES TM.  There you will get the details of the accident before and after it happened.

THE SECRET
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(c) Loren Fidalgo 2010
Since the "clunk" on the head,, I have had an addition and change in the direction of my creative passion and interests.  Prior head injury, I was primarily passionate about graphic arts, and illustration.  I was mainly pursuing a career in art licensing working with pastels and colored pencil. I never thought of painting as a medium for myself and I was not interested in the fine arts as a career.  But, something changed in me after the injury, some thing that I do not have an explanation for.  Although, I  still working on illustration and graphics, I have begun to furiously start painting and working in mixed media.  The ideas for painting have been coming from my heart.    Some time soon after the injury, I signed up for a painting, drawing and watercolor class which was "odd" for me, and although I was painting still lives in class, which I now loved (also odd for me) I was painting images from a deeper place in my heart at home from a deeper place in my heart.  You can see some of these still life paintings here and my fantasy paintings here. 

After being "clunked" on the head,  I have found that I want to create more meaningful and thoughtful images and pieces of art.  I am much more interested in expressing my emotions in my work.  I feel compelled to express my deeper feelings, thoughts and ideas.  I have made changes and choices in the ideas for paintings and mixed media works and they have also taken a turn in subject matter. Although, I have always been strongly interested in concept and ideas,  I have now become interested in expression of feelings and life experiences.  This is an amazement to me.  I have been shocked at the depth of my despair at times that has been coming out of my heart and soul and portrayed in my work. I find myself compelled now to express not only my joyful and exuberant feelings but now my sorrow, depression, pain and challenging feelings about my life in a way that I did not know existed. I am having to face and question some of my experiences of my life presently and as most artists do at some time, I am also facing experiences from my childhood traumas.  (UGGHH!!! this is a topic that in full is still too deep to share here).  Although I am not one to often wear my deep feelings of sorrow on my sleeve, and share it with others, I am for some reason expressing it in my paintings and art. Go figure! 

SEARCHING FOR MEANING
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(c) Loren Fidalgo 2010

 So as you see, things have changed creatively for me and I am just hanging on for the ride.  I wonder if anyone has experienced this same sort of shift in consciousness and focus from an accident or head injury?  I was "clunked" on the left side on top of my head and since I did not show signs of a concussion, it appeared that nothing was injured internally.  The only signs and symptoms are these changes in my obsession with painting and mixed media, and a change in my perception of color. which I talk about it in my blog MIND GIGGLES TM  So, as I have said, "Is my huge obsession with painting a coincidence or a direct result from being "clunked" on the head from a 6 lb ceramic vase? You be the judge."