Saturday, December 27, 2014


Hey's Loren.  It's been a hectic few days.   Christmas has come and gone but not before my Christmas card went out to lots of family and friends.  Everyone seemed to love the design and thought it was great because it had a dual purpose.  It was turns into a tree ornament and it can hang on the tree year after year. I love that!!  Above is a close up photo of the entire card folded, glued, cut, glittered and scored.

This year's chosen design did not come from a 'aha' moment like some of my other cards have had.  I didn't get a light bulb going off in my head as I sometimes do.  I had this year's design in mind for quite a while and had done sketches through out the year thinking that possibly I could use it for my Christmas card 2014.  Initially, I was going to go with another idea however, I changed my mind at the last minute after doing lots of sketches for my first idea.  I decided to abandon the idea because it just wasn't feeling like it was the right time to develop it more.  I knew however, that the second idea would take a lot longer to make and I was concerned about the amount of time it would consume.  But I decided to go along with it anyway. 

As I was creating this year's card I was taken back to a card I made back in the day 1984, that had a similar folding and cutting process. Unfortunately, I don't have a copy of it.  I have to get it from my family and take a photo of it.  Well, anyhow it was a house with windows cut out and a Christmas tree inside the house that lit up through the window.  It looked really cool when it was hung on the tree and the lights were shining inside of it. I didn't intentionally try to recreate the same card folding and cutting and only realized it when I was cutting out this year's card.

Below are two photos of all the cards hanging on my metal shelf unit.  I think they look quite interesting hanging all together in a row so you can get the magnitude of how they all look together. 

Well, that's a wrap for this post this year.  I hope you liked seeing the card design for 2014.  Please feel free to leave a comment.  It is greatly appreciated.  I hope you had a Merry Christmas and I hope you have a Happy New Year.  I will be back in 2015 with more paintings and posts about the interesting direction I am going in with my painting.  Until then, enjoy!!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014


Hey guys...Loren here.  Well, the Annual Family and Friends Christmas Greeting Card design idea is done and I am in the process of getting them ready to address to mail out.  Actually, I had been cutting, scoring, folding, and soon to be glittering and gluing. 

I am so excited about this year's design , but I have to say it was a tricky one to create.  Lots of small cutting and tight spots to get the scissors in.  I have to be honest about this year's design and my short comings because I had run into snags cutting each one out.   I couldn't get any of my small scissors in some of the areas around the design elements.

This year's design is a really cute one and it has a dual function.  Can't give the idea away yet.  You will have wait until they are all mailed out and opened by the receivers.  Stay tuned and I will soon be revealing the 2014 design.
 Thanks for following along and waiting for the reveal of this year's 2014 Annual Family and Friends Christmas Greeting Card.
Cheers and Happy Holidays

Sunday, November 23, 2014


Hey's that time of year again and you know what that means...?  It's time for the Annual Friends and Family Christmas Card Design.  Every year I come up with a new design to send out at Christmas time.  (You can read more about it on my licensing blog here).  The pressure is always on to create a design that is better then the previous year's before it.  I have done some pretty elaborate designs, such as mobiles, pop-up cards, tin snowmen, holiday house pop ups and even the one I did two years ago that was to be sent to Santa and said in the inside to' just send cash'!   One family member actually sent cash!!  Well,  every year I say I am not going to be able to get one done because in the winter I get down in my mood and the darkness overcomes me.  But in the end, I have managed to get the card designs completed and on time, if only a day or two before the deadline.   I hunker down for 2-3 days and cut, paste, glue and fold over 40 cards and the receivers are always waiting for the card to arrive.

Last year's 2013 Annual Christmas Card
'All Balled Up Snowman'
2013 Christmas Card Design hanging in a row

Last year's 2013 card was said to be the best I've created according to my family and especially my brother Ken(see in photo).  So, this year's has to be even better than that.  I think I have an idea to go with, but not certain yet if it is my final choice.  All of my family, saves the cards I send each year and it is neat to go back and look at how they evolved over the years.  Ken says that he knows it's time to celebrate Christmas when he receives the card, just like the windows being unvailed at the Macy's in New Youk City. The designs definitely have gotten more complicated and detailed.  The stress around the holidays for me is getting the design worked out and getting them finished in time to send out.  It's not just a project I take's a mission.  Yes, I am a woman creator on a mission!

2013 Annual Christmas Card
'All Balled Up Snowman"
This year's design will be posted after I complete it and after everyone has received it in the mail. Then I will discuss how and why I created it.  It's always fun to look into the how's and whys of an idea.  Possibly, one of my favorite things to do next to coming up with the idea itself.  So, stay tuned and be sure to check back to see the progress I am making on the design.

Sunday, November 9, 2014


'THE FIRE FLOWER'        24 x 30   oil on canvas        2011 (c) Loren Fidalgo
Hey guys...  a new 'on my easel' painting featured. This painting is from the archives and I thought it would be an interesting one to write about.

The title of this painting is 'THE FIRE FLOWER'.  It is 24 x 30 and oil on canvas.  I wanted to feature this painting since my last post was about the small scribble drawings that I have been doing lately in one of my painting classes.  This painting was created from a small drawing with graphite pencil on paper.
5 1/2 x 8 1/2 graphite on paper
2011 (c) Loren Fidalgo
 When I was sketching out this drawing on paper, I was letting my hand just scribble away.  I didn't know what I was going to create or see in the lines.  Eventually, I began to see a face that was coming out of a flower. I was thinking that I wanted there be no difference between the face and the petals as if the face was actually a living part of the flower. The features to the face are very minimal and some what human like and some what not. I chose them to be this way to not dominate the flower.  The face almost looks as if it is a lion or some kind of animal maybe a cat and I wanted them to be painted just as the drawing was done.

  When I began the painting from this drawing, it was a challenge to unify the petals and face so it was as if the flower petals and face had no separation.  I knew I had to do it with color and I love the colors of this painting. I started with this bright orange and yellow color for the background. I then decided to make the flower in orange and yellow to create this illusion of integration.  I didn't want too much contrast from the petals to the background. The painted edges are soft.  I placed the flower off to the left to have a more pleasing composition and show off the bright colored background.

I painted the stem of the flower in shades of greens, yellows and blues. The tips of the stem are accented in Cerealan Blue which is like a turquoise color.( I used a brush for this painting to blend the colors which is rare for me. I usually use a palette knife.)  I added the stem tips as if they are coming out of the bottom left corner to give some weight to the loosely painted flower and large stem.  It filled the space and gave the flower more mass because I didn't like looking through the empty orange space there. Since I wanted the flower painted as if it was emerging out of the background, the stems really worked. I didn't want to draw my eye in that direction.

Well, what does this painting mean?  What is it all about?  I think it might be about hiding in plain sight?  Possibly, it is about trying not to be seen or not wanting to make oneself more visible to others? It might be about concealing one's identity?  I think it is also about being able to see everyone else while at the same time not been seen by them.  When I did the drawing and painting, I was in a place where I was kind of feeling this way.  Part wanting to be open and out there and part not wanting to be obvious and noticeable. Now I think that I am glad those days have passed for the most part.  Every so often, I feel this thinking and emotion trying to emerge but thank goodness, I handle it better now. Have you ever felt this way? 

Well, that wraps up another 'on my EASEL'. This was a long 'on my EASEL' but I think a good one. I would love to hear back from you guys to see how you interpret this painting?  What do you see in it?  Have you ever felt this way?  Please feel free to leave a comment.

Thursday, November 6, 2014


graphite on paper  2014  (c) Loren Fidalgo
Hey guys... something to share with you.
 Lately I have been drawing in my sketchbook alot and I have to say that I am really enjoying it so much.  There is something so meditative about sketching with a graphite pencil and kneaded eraser. Currently,  I am taking a class at Fleisher Art Memorial called Observation, Memory and Imagination.  The instructor is John and he is so fascinating to talk to and has an interesting technique to create drawings and paintings from small scribble drawings that grow out of the subconscious. Since I have taken this class before, I never really understood what I was doing in the class until this semester.  I have really found somewhat of my voice in these small scribble drawings.
'COMFORTING EACH OTHER'  4 1/4 x 5 1/2
graphite on paper
2014  (c) Loren Fidalgo 
Most of my sketches usually come out to be a face or head of some kind and they are filled with emotion and expression. I realize that for some reason I keep going back to this subject. Previously, I was creating faces that were mostly women that were happy, sad and also had lots of emotions in between.  Now I am creating more animated faces that are crying out or looking as if they are lost, vacant and scared.  Their eyes and mouths are revealing the distress and despair that they are experiencing.
graphite on paper
2014 (c) Loren Fidalgo
  I never really found a lot of passion from drawing in graphite. I found it to take too long to achieve the desired effect I wanted.  I felt overwhelmed by the pencil while I was trying to cover alot of surface area. I wanted to see my direction much more quickly.  But recently, I have fallen 'in love' with these little drawings.
'HOLDING ON'  4 1/4 x 51/2  graphite on paper
2014 (c) Loren Fidalgo
 The original image that is featured up top is titled, 'THE FRIGHTENED SOUL 'and is 14x17. It is inspired from a selection of small sketches.  I love the way it came out with the darks and lights all in shades of greys.  I think I will continue with these drawings and I want to eventually paint them out on canvas.  I am totally unsure what they will look like and if they will capture the graphite and paper feel however I will give it a go.  I am just lovin these drawings, I can't say enough about them and I probably won't in the near future.
graphite on paper
2014 (c) Loren Fidalgo
 Thanks for reading and feel free to leave a comment if you like.  I'd love to hear what others feel about drawing in graphite pencil on paper.

Monday, October 6, 2014


Forty years ago today, on a cold and dark Oct 6th  1974, my Dad tragically passed away from a massive heart attack.  He was only 40 years old!  I had just turned 14. There are no words to express the tragedy of my Dad’s passing and the chaos that my siblings and I went through as well as our Uncle Ron and Gram.  I started this post by writing about the details of the tragic day my Dad passed, but found that it was just too personal at this time and possibly too long of a story to tell.  All I can say is for me it was a nightmare that has had no end.

I want to share a story about my Dad from when I was a young girl. When I was in Home Economics class, I think it was 7th grade.  We had to go to the store to get fabric and decorative ribbon for a tote bag that we were making in class.  Well, my Dad took me to the fabric store on Rte. 37 just by Hooper Ave.  I don’t remember the name but I can clearly remember the building.  Well, anyhow, we went in to the store and we looked at the fabric. My Dad was in his element, ‘color’!  He was so good at picking out colors and matching them up to each other. I could see he was in heaven with color and patterns.  We chose a bright shocking fuschia color for the outside. We chose a tiny flower pattern for the inside that matched up so beautifully.  Then we picked out the ribbon for the handles and this is where my Dad came to life even more.  I remember the ribbon being about 2 inches wide and it was so beautiful with flowers and shades of pink, fuschia , purples and metallic thread on it. When I think back, it was the most expensive of all the ribbon like it, but Dad wanted me to get it.  He would not have it any other way. He said to me, “ this is the prettiest in the store and I think you should have it”!  So off to the cutting table we went.
I share this story because it is such a reflection of the man, Dad, toy designer and son he was. What Dad in 1973 took their daughter to the fabric store and picks out pink, fuschia and flower patterned fabric? He was so natural and like he was where he was supposed to be at that moment in time.  My Dad was there, because he knew he had to.  My heart was relying on it.
To this day I don’t know what happened to that tote bag.  I usually save important things from people I love and I do, have some of the fuschia fabric and it is Vintage 43 years old!
I miss my Dad and I think of him in some way everyday.  He was a hard Dad to forget.  As my Mom has passed now too,  I hope they are sharing a life together some where in heaven, or if not somewhere in the Universe.  Someday I will see him again, and we will  be able to talk shop!!

Saturday, September 27, 2014



Hey's Loren here.  Today is my husband Paul and my 17th wedding anniversary. This photo is of our wedding day and my husband Paul loves it. I on the other hand am so, so about it. My bouquet of flowers was sooo..large and heavy and it kept tipping over. It was so big that it covered almost 1/3rd of my body!

Well, anyhow, Paul and I can't believe time has gone by so fast. We have actually been a couple since 1985 so that is 29 years! We have had a interesting journey up til now, with highs and lows, peaks and valleys, and back to highs again. We are so happy we took the path we are on no matter what or who has come our way. So today, we will celebrate our love and our enduring friendship in 'grand style'. (yes, pun intended) Can't say what we will do and we don't like to post our where abouts,  but, be assured we are continuing on our journey through our experience called LOVE!

If you are 'in love', make sure you tell your sweetheart that you love them and hug them tight. It increases endorphins and oxytocin (the bonding chemical) which produces feelings of well being.
Here's to love and loving!
Loren and Paul

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


Hey guys... it's Loren and time for an 'on my EASEL'.  This is a series where I discuss an early painting and I talk about what the thought process I went into to create it.

'TIME TO OPEN UP'   18x24   oil on canvas    (c)   Loren Fidalgo 2010
I painted this piece back in 2010, however, I love it and the subject matter is this painting is titled, 'TIME TO OPEN UP'. and it is still current for me today.

When I was creating this painting, it began from a normal still life set-up.  I decided to shift the arrangement around and create something that would speak to me in a deeper way. I changes the arrangement and the colors.  I took the 'umbrella' and painted it on top of the mannequin to illustrate a figure/woman with an 'umbrella' as her head and face. It kind of makes one want to ask, "what is under there?"  The 'umbrella' is symbolic to me for the ability or inability to open up one's mind and heart. I chose to move the mouth off of the face on the 'umbrella' to hanging it from the bottle to suggest that this soul is suffering from being shy and not able to speak or open up. Thoughts and feelings from the mind, don't reach her mouth. The mouth however, doesn't go far and it is 'hanging on' to it's possibility to be able to speak by being in arm's reach. The eyes look on mysteriously and they are glancing out at you to express that she is so deep in thought and feeling and communicating, "I have so much to say!" While I was painting I knew I needed the courage to step into this new experience.

At the time I painted this piece, I was personally going through a lot of changes in my life and feeling like I needed to express myself in a deeper and more meaningful way. This painting was done about a year and a half after I began painting and my head injury.  If you would like to read about my 'destiny' and 'calling' into painting, please read HERE.   I was challenging the direction I was heading in with my artwork and my life in general.  I was asking myself questions and struggling while trying to make the changes that I knew would make major differences in my life. Although I wanted the changes, they were still overwhelming and somewhat difficult to encounter.  I knew nevertheless, it was time to try and open up, to speak out, to let it be known that I had a lot of thoughts and feelings that needed to come out. The 'umbrella' image in this painting was a perfect icon for expressing all this without words.

I love creating this type of painting with so much meaning and intense content.  It reaches and touches my soul in a profound way.  I love being able to express something with visual imagery, as well. Since I have began painting, I have been on a journey to dig deep inside myself and to be true to myself.  This painting was one of the paintings that was created in the beginning of this process.  I am still learning and experiencing intense changes.  It has all been good and welcomed.

Please feel free to leave a comment and to let me know if you have ever struggled with having the ability to speak up when needed?  I am happy to hear what you have to say.

Saturday, August 23, 2014


Hey's Loren and I want to give a 'SHOUT OUT' to entering the Lilia Rogers GLOBAL TALENT SEARCH!  This is a contest that the winner receives  two years agent representation and a whole host of licensing deals.  The contest runs with a initial brief or summary of a project and when completed, 50 chosen artists move on to the next round.  After this, 5 artists are chosen to move into the final phase where one lucky winner wins the grand prize on October 9th!
The theme for this 1st project was 'Little Terrariums'.  This is where I was to design a piece of wall art with this theme.  I have to say that this year's 1st round was a challenging one.  For starters, I have not been feeling well and I have been very tired and I had to work under some stress, however, I managed to get the assignment completed.  I can't reveal the finished project until the 50 artists are chosen on August 26th  so you will have to wait a couple more days.  I can give you a sneak peek at some sketches, however the final design for this round is under wraps.

All throughout the project, I was uncertain if I was heading in the right direction, but something told me to keep going, so I did.  I created my design in cut paper and mixed media and I am excited about the way it turned out.  It took a lot longer to complete than I anticipated, so I am glad I started right away after being given the brief through email.  I had a lot of details to include and I didn't want to leave anything out, so this is why it took somewhat longer.

Here are some snippets of sketches to give you an idea of what direction I took the assignment.  The final image will be posted after August 26th so check back in a couple of days.  Wish me luck!!!

Friday, July 25, 2014


Hey guys... I wanted to let everyone know that I have set up a new web/blog as an addition to my current blog, so I could have more features to offer to my readers. (you can visit the web/blog here or go up to WEB in the tabs bar)   I also made changes and updates to my painting blog.  It is easier to navigate and smoother getting around.  Come on over and take a peek at the new site and see how well it works.  I am quite happy, as I have set everything up by myself and think I did a pretty good job! 
I am still on Blogger and I realize eventually I will have to move to Wordpress to set up my new ecommerce shop however for now, I am still at the same place.  I have been working on a site on Wordpress and I am finding it very challenging.  I started a template on Wordpress however, it was giving me all kinds of problems.  I also could not find a template that I liked.  I really liked the one I have on Blogger, so I thought I would rework my blog and set up a web/blog that I really was happy with.
Please click around and see how you like this new update.  I am curious to know what you think? I also am curious if you have set up Wordpress and your eperiences with it?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014


Hey guys... it's Loren...

 After months of changes and decision making, months of uncertainty, I am so excited and some what over joyed to let you know that finally my new series launched on my blog today,! Almost all of the paintings in the series are up on my site.  More will be loaded this week.  Come on over to my
 'BETWEEN FEELINGS' page and check out my new works.
'WHAT PALES IN COMPARISON'    24x30  acrylic on canvas    (c) Loren Fidalgo 2014
"This body of work, 'BETWEEN FEELINGS' is about being in the constant flux of emotions. I am fascinated by how feeling states are moving towards the viewer and then receding leaving the viewer uncertain about which feeling they are experiencing.  My work is about how feelings affect us by paralyzing us or renewing and releasing us.  There is a depth that can be seen as if peeking out from behind a door or wall which leaves the viewer unsure about which emotion they are feeling while trying to make sense of my work."
'LIGHTLY HIDDEN'          24x30       acrylic on canvas       (c) Loren Fidalgo
I painted this entire series with a palette knife.  No brush. I dragged, stroked and moved the paint down with my palette knife on the canvas to create the textured effect.  I call my painting technique, 'expressive mark making'.  It is how I paint on the canvas.

"My purpose for these paintings are to evoke a sense of peace and calm while also commenting on the feelings of being unsettled and uncertain leaving the viewer 'BETWEEN FEELINGS'.  I painted these paintings because I am between my own feelings and emotions."
I hope you enjoy viewing these paintings and I would really love to hear what you have to say about them?  Please feel free to leave comments.  It is greatly appreciated.
*******INQUIRIES... about purchasing a painting, please contact me on 'message me' contact form in the left sidebar. I am happy to help.   Thank you***********.



Saturday, June 28, 2014


Heys guys... I am so excited to tell you that I have finally made the move from my Dining room into my new porch/studio after a year in the works.  I have moved almost everything into the new studio and sealed with a kiss by moving my wooden easel into it!  Last night was my first day painting in it and I have to say it was 'heaven'!  I had my supplies and my music...and I was so relaxed and calm.

Even though I am so excited about the new move, I have to say that I felt a twinge of sadness when I was carrying things out of the Dining room.  It was a slow moving feeling, a quite sadness that I felt rising up in me every time I'd move something from room to room. I was experiencing a sense of loss and I realized that I was going to have to say 'goodbye' to the dining room experience just like saying 'goodbye' to a relationship that changes. Even though the Dining room did not really meet my needs and it didn't feel like a real working studio, I still had a part of me that was connected to it because I spent a lot of time in there. I will not miss it, but I will certainly remember working in it. It's strange how we humans are connected oddly to our 'stuff' and in many ways.  We know ourselves by the 'stuff' we surround ourselves with and the places we spend our time. 


I had so much stuff in the Dining room ( and still do)  and it no way will fit in my new studio.  Being the collector of supplies and 'stuff to make stuff out of '.   I have a lot of supplies that I will have to find some other place to store my 'stuff '.   I always plopped my stuff down on the pink dresser when I came in the door from classes etc.   Now after I resurfaced it, it is cleared off on top and it looks great.  I painted it and decoupaged/ mixed mediaed it (not sure if that is a word? Well, I'll make it a word!) and the new dresser really makes me happy when I look at it.  I am now working on a trunk for the studio to put my paper and mixed media stuff in.  I'll show photos when I complete it. 

So, as I have mentioned, I feel a little sad making the move into a new studio enviroment, I am so excited to finally be moving all my 'stuff' into it. Well, most of it anyway.  I am really going to like this new space because I designed how I wanted it to function in my mind so many times.  Palette on the right and paints on the left.  Everything on wheels.  Must have wheels. 

 I will keep you updated to let you know if moving to a studio space really is that different or not.  I will post some pictures when I get them to show how my studio is working for me.  Please leave a comment if you would like about your experience of moving your 'art stuff' into a studio space.  I would love to hear what you have to offer.

Monday, June 9, 2014


'HERES LOOKING AT YOU, KID!'  2012  oil on canvas  (c) Loren Fidalgo 2012

Well, it's time for an 'on my EASEL' painting to be featured on my blog and this painting is a little different than I usually talk about.  Maybe it is because I posted my painting, 'CHUNKY, CHUNKY GIRL' yesterday and it just put me in a funny and light hearted mood? Yeahhh..., yesterday's painting post,  it's still cracking me up!   So here goes another round...

When I first started this painting in 2012, I was really interested in faces and depicting the human face in my sketches and paintings. I usually love to add these big super huge cheeks to illustrate the delight and charm of my characters.  That's not to say that my faces are always happy and elated.  Sometimes they are somber and suffering with despair.  (that's a subject for another post) For this post, I will be focusing on this particular painting 'Here's looking at you, kid!' and the joyful nature of this girl and her suitor who came to give her his heart.

In one of my painting classes I was taking at the time of this painting, I was doing a lot of sketches in my book and the idea was that they were supposed to be from my imagination and/or a memory from something I saw during my day.. In this class, I learned to draw from lightly scribbling on the paper and watching until eventually something would emerge from the scribbling  Maybe it was from my imagination or maybe even a dream?.  Well, most of my scribble drawings I drew became faces of people with a lot of interesting features that had a lot of character.  When I first started painting, I would paint large red and round circles for cheeks and then around 2010, I started creating these paintings with these round, ball cheeks that seemed to be popping out of the faces and off the canvases..  What the large cheeks truly meant, I did not know however, I kept drawing and painting them.

In this painting , she has really large cheeks as I have mentioned  and she seems to be just thrilled with who she is and what she is about. (so I think.  I haven't asked her!).  She is delighted with the little male bird has chosen to make it's way over to her to give her his heart.  He reaches his beak up to her while holding the little red heart as symbolism  for his literal heart. This bird surely wants to give himself to her.   The excitement on her face is clearly evident and it reminds me of the place I was in emotionally when I painted her.  She seems somewhat coquetious, and a little kooky as if she is so proud of herself and why shouldn't she be?  I wasn't feeling in the same mood when I painted her, so I don't know where I pulled this image from my mind, that has such a euphoric tone. Possibly, it was from another part of my mind that I was not accessing at the time I was painting?  That happens to me sometimes. Maybe it happens to you, too?   For me, I will paint and just be in the 'zone' so deeply that may not be conscious of what I am expressing.  Sometimes, I don't know for months or years as in this painting what it is truly about. And the colors...I also don't know why I chose to paint with the colors I did?

This painting is in oils and in this painting the colors are Naples Yellow, Cadmium Red, Titanium White, Cerealean Blue, Ultramarine Blue, Ivory Black and Cadmium Yellow.  I love to paint faces in yellows and warm colors.  I especially love to use Naples Yellow in my faces.  I know it can be tricky color to use and sometimes it can be overused, but at the time I had seemed to be taken to it and loved the buttery consistency and texture. .  I used Utrecht Brand oils then and I still do. I love them and they meet my needs.

So that's a wrap up for 'on my EASEL'.  I hope you enjoyed this one?  I think I am still discovering what my paintings are all about and I like to share the journey of discovery with you.  Keep reading my posts and please feel free and easy to leave a comment if you would like?  I'd love to hear what you are thinking and feeling?

Cheers for now,

Sunday, June 8, 2014


' CHUNKY, CHUNKY GIRL'    oil on canvas  2010  30x40  (c) Loren Fidalgo 2010

Every time I look at this painting it just cracks me up!  I don't know why I painted it and what the inspiration was, but I just love it.( Possibly, I will do an 'on my easel' and talk about what I THINK it is about?)  I thought this painting would be a good lead in to this post since she surely looks like she has something going on and is a little flirty with her winking eye. I know she is somewhat fearless but that is not totally what I was feeling when I put the paint on the canvas and so I ask "why"? "Why is she fearless?" She looks as if she is so free and easy going and that is definetly the place we all would like to be.  Well, maybe some of us? For me it has been a little bit challenging to be totally fearless but it's getting better especially these in past few weeks and months.
My journey the last few months has been an interesting one. I have been feeling a little more uncertain and unsure and have lost some faith about some aspects of my life and the direction I am going in than I usually do.  For those who do not know, about 6 years ago, a huge 10lb. ceramic vase came flying down onto my head in the Ceramics class I was taking and changed my life forever.   After chatting with my friend Jill the other day about this accident experience, l have been thinking a lot about the vase that fell on my head 6 years ago and how it has impacted me, my decisions, my preferences, my needs and my passions  (read more about head injury 
here and here )   I still do not know whether the head injury I developed had really influenced my desires and my calling into painting and mixed media.  Actually, I had been doing various kinds of art since childhood so it might have just been random?   But this change seemed different in it's flavor and intensity. I do know that I have not looked back to the life I had before. Since then I have slowly but certainly become more open, more free and more uninhibited than I ever was before the vase fell on my head.  Before the accident,  I felt I somewhat closed, isolated and wanting to be alone a lot.  I guess I was introverted and a little shy and I felt that venturing out was a scary and challenging thing for me to do.  Now I feel so free, I am being 'brave' and wanting to express myself so intensely and even more than I did when I first began painting.  I have become much more social and needing that 'girlfriend experience'  more often.  Friends are so important to me and making them seems effortless and joyful now.  Oh, how much has changed.  I have more courage than I used to.  Confidence in my work and my direction is still a little bit shaky, but it is also getting better everyday, as well.  I just look at things differently now.  There was a 'shift', a 'snap', a 'pop' in my psyche after the injury that I still can not explain.  Not knowing whether I suffered any damaged really is a curious thing for me to ponder.  I ask myself often, "why have I changed?  Where in my brain did I change? Why have my desires and my artistic interests changed so dramatically? Why did my life change creatively and socially?"

I think I will forever wonder what happened to me that day in 2008?  I will always contemplate if painting and mixed media was a calling as a result from the head injury or just a mere coincidence or odd happening that was bound to come out some time and reveal itself to me any how.  The question still remains?  I think this painting 'Chunky, Chunky Girl' is possibly about letting yourself go and shedding old skin.  Maybe it's about a way of saying,  "Hey there.  I see you and you see me?" Maybe it's about revealing ourselves to ourselves and to others and feeling more vulnerable when we do it?  Maybe it's about stepping forward and being who you truly are, chunky or not chunky and naked or not naked?  But in the end of this post, I have come to think that this painting is about totally about 'bravery'.  Brave that we put ourselves out there and that we don't really know what will come back to us.  So that is where I will leave it for now, 'CHUNKY GIRL' is about being BRAVE.

If you have encountered any experience like mine or just want to comment about being brave, , please leave a message? I would love to hear from you.  I have heard other people having a similar thing happen to them and I would love to know how many there are out there? 

Thanks for reading my post.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Hey guys... 
Oh my gosh,  Holy Smokes, YOWZA!!!  My etsy shop is having it's very first SALE!!!  20% off everything in my shop over $50.00.  That's right, a SALE...There are petite paintings, large size paintings and hand painted pendants all 20% off.  Come on over to my shop at and check out the goods.  I hope you see something that will really touch your heart and soul as much as it did mine when I painted it.  

Tuesday, May 6, 2014


Hi , it’s Loren…
Sadly, today is the 3 year mark for the passing of my lovely Mom, Marilyn.  This photo is my Mom and Dad on their wedding day June 24th, 1956.  They are so beautiful and some have said that “they look like movie stars”.  In my Dad’s eyes I see hope, bravery, anticipation, dreams, the love of his bride and a joy about their future.  In my Mom’s eyes I wonder about the fear, worry, anxiety, confusion and the inability to process what was happening to her because of her illness.  I see sorrow and a vacancy and it makes me sad for both of them.  On their day June 24, 1956  neither one knew what life would have in store for them and that pain, sorrow, loss, hopelessness were on the horizon and it would have a ripple effect that would affect generations to come.  What an evil trick reality played on them.

After 3 years, I thought that I was making progress in coming to terms with the loss of my Mom.  Sometimes the memories are so vivid and fresh.  Sometimes they are chaotically foggy and distant.  It is at this time that I am most sad because I fear the loss of these precious memories I have and the connection they give me to my Mom. I wonder,” will I forget if I don’t have the memories?”  Sometimes I find myself acting or reacting to something just like my Mom did and I wonder.  I wonder if it is genetics or learned mannerisms from the time I spent with her?  I was always fascinated by the things we did alike.  There was a time that if you said that I was like my Mom, they were scary times and a scary reality.  I did not want to inherit the illness she had and at the same time, I suffered because I knew she did.   The fears and scary feelings have long gone away and have been replaced with warm endearing and comforting thoughts that I am my Mother’s daughter and like her in so many ways.  I had such a fear when she was alive that it crowded out all other feelings sometimes.  Now that’s she gone, I want nothing more to be like her, to be her daughter, to be her ‘sweetheart baby’ as she once called me and to be her friend. What I would give to just have 5 minutes to be in the presence of the most beautiful woman I have ever known and to be sure she knows this too.
Has 3 years healed my heart…I can only say that I am going to the best parts of me and to the best parts of my Mom.  I am on my way…and that is not by forgetting but learning and remembering that none of this mess was the fault of my Mom or my Dad.  They were victims of a cruel reality that chose them to suffer, and they did suffer greatly.  My Dad’s death was tragic at the age of 40 and my Mom’s illness was tragic and it lasted a lifetime.  Do I forget? I do not.   I only remember and learn more everyday about the sacrifice they made for my siblings and I.  It only makes me want to hold on to what matters more, to love deeper, to live fuller.  I am grasping tighter to those who give life meaning.

Sometimes people ask, “why and how I am able to share my feelings and thoughts?”  Well, it is through this sharing that I realize that I have to be brave and not afraid of feelings, good and bad.  Everyone who knows me knows that I am not afraid to feel. Through feeling, I know I am living. I try to have courage to open up and when ready, letting go. I try to venture into places most people dare not go.  I am vulnerable because this is the way I know to experience my truest self.  When I cry, I cry and when I laugh and I know I am alive.  This is the way I will be the rest of my life.  I am healing, I am renewing and I am being brave to journey on through this life and knowing that one day I will see my most precious of people I have known on this earth, my Mom and Dad.



Tuesday, March 25, 2014


'FEELING THROUGH ROSE-COLORED GLASSES'  (section)    24x30   acrylic on canvas         (c)  Loren Fidalgo 2014
The image above is a small cropped section of one of my new paintings 'Feeling through rose-colored glasses'  I can hardly contain myself about launching my new series 'BETWEEN FEELINGS' however, I have run into snag.  Just when I thought my paintings were complete, I am wrestling with the questions of "how to finish the sides"?  'To paint or not to paint' is the question.  Everyone seems to have a different approach to this question.  I know all the options, however I am still not sure how I will tackle this issue.  I have some questions into a gallery owner and I am waiting to hear back from him.  What he has to say will go yards to helping what decision I will make.
I am a little disappointed that I won't be launching my series this week, but hey, that is how it goes.  I am really excited about the entire series and hope that you will be too?  Photographs came out pretty good and I will now begin formatting them. I am excited about the process of seeing them in print.
Hang in there... and I will be showing 'BETWEEN FEELINGS' paintings some time soon.
If you have any ideas to add to the mix, please feel free to leave a comment.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


 My painting 'GOING PLACES' took Honortable Mention in Fleisher's 116 Annual Student Exhibition in Philadelphia. Pa.    This painting is 24x30 and is oil on canvas.

I really enjoyed creating this painting from beginning to the end.  There were challenges along the way, because the display set up changes slightly every week.  It was tricky to know which version of the still life that I was going to commit to.  The third week of the painting set up, I was pretty much on my own interpreting the arrangement to complete it.  I tried not to focus so heavily on looking at the still life arrangement, and used my own judgement, memory and imagination.  I am really happy with how it has evolved and satisfied that I put all my skill and emotion into it.

Leave a comment and let me know what you feel about this painting?  I would love to hear feedback and insight.
Thanks for reading this post.

Saturday, February 22, 2014


Time for a new 'on my EASEL' painting to be discussed on my blog. This is where I talk about what went into creating a painting.  Basically, it is about how and why I created this featured painting..
'SEARCHING FOR MEANING'   oil on canvas  18x24   (c) Loren Fidalgo 2010 

The painting I am writing about is titled, 'SEARCHING FOR MEANING'.  It is 18x24 and oil on canvas. I really enjoyed creating this piece and I liked the opportunity to dig deep into what goes into the struggle when one is looking for purpose in their life'.  I believe that the seeking and searching may be something that most of us go through some time in our lives. Whether it be addiction to drugs, alcohol, mental illness, emotional loss of a loved one, divorce or trauma or just simple 'existential questioning'.  We may ask ourselves questions... we may tell ourselves what seems to be lies that "we can handle it." With this painting, I am asking, "How do we find the reason? How do we find joy in life, when things are not going our way or we are in pain? How do we find hope?" 

When I began this painting, I had a strong image in my mind about what I wanted to express.  I had the concept in my thoughts about a woman and her struggle to find the reasons for living and why she is here. I wanted to express how it is usually the little things in life that are often missed when one is depressed and feeling like there is no hope. Elements like the flower and butterfly were thought of to  help portray my concept.  I wanted to depict this idea by playing off of a simple phrase that is often said to someone to let them know how they are not valuing the simple things in life.  'Take time to smell the flowers'.  Possibly, people might think that one is not grateful for the little things and they need to take the time to look and see what is right in front of them? For this woman, to smell the flowers is her symbolic way to express her desire to feel what she is missing, the 'joy of life'. She is looking, seeking, hoping and longing. 

 I painted this in a subtle cubist like style and use thick, textured paint. The cubist style helped me to convey the ambivalence that this woman is having in her life.  The woman's eyes are disjointed and each one is looking back out at 'YOU'. This is her way of saying, "I see you, I'm looking at you looking at me and I see that you are wondering what is wrong with me and you are wondering, "why I am 'searching for meaning?" I decided to depict her nude so she is in her most vulnerable and fragile state. The colors I chose are purples, greens, oranges, yellows and reds.  I like the way the colors interact with each other, such as the oranges and greens and purples and yellows.  I used a palette knife to sculpt this entire painting. I stroked the knife on the canvas, moving it in many directions as I carved into the paint. You can see this in the swirls of her hair and the texture in her body.

 In closing about this painting,, the question is inevitably asked, "Does this woman find her meaning?  Well, that is for you to decide.  What do you think?

 I hope you enjoyed the in-depth look into this piece?  If you would like to, please leave a comment or question.  Thanks for reading this post and stay tuned in for the next one.